Kandahar Prison Break Threatens Mideast Peace

Written by Katelyn Sack
Saturday, 14 June 2008
Approximately 450,000 prisoners escaped from an improvised jail facility in the Afghan province of Kandahar this weekend. "It was nearing harvest time in the poppy fields. How am I supposed to keep my entire population locked up when there's good money to be had from easy labor involving pretty flowers in quiet meadows?" said province Police Chief Sayed Agha Saqib. "First, we have a spring offensive; then we tend poppies; then we fight some more; then we do grapes, followed by the pomegranates, and then winter brings a retrenchment of the huddle-based economy. You guys have been here before, right?" continued Saqib. "You can't keep your entire provincial population locked up in some minimum-security prison just because they want to work," observed television journalist Lou Dobbs. "You need a fence for that."