Lame-Duck Syndrome A Growing National Problem

Written by Katelyn Sack
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
An increasing number of American men suffer from lame-duck syndrome, the Grand Organization of Pricks reported via Reuters today. At a press conference in her living room, GOP advocate Mo Homme of Houston, Texas elaborated on how lame-duck syndrome has affected her home life: "All I did was start singin' 'Happy Birthday, Mr. President' to Jim, on his birthday. He looked down, shook his head, and said 'Goddamn you, Mr. Bush.' I guess he's worried 'bout the price of bananas." White House sources suggest high-ranking members of the Administration are unavailable for comment due to extensive duck-hunting engagements.