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McCain and Obama get stuck in an elevator for 4 hours |
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 Written by nobody
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Thursday, 25 September 2008 |
12:30 p.m.
“What was that?”
12:31
“I-- I think we’re stuck between floors, John.”
Obama pushes buttons in random, rapid succession.
12:34
McCain farts.
“Oh my. Excuse me, Barak. Awkwaaaaard…”
“A bit, John. A bit. Thank GOD Michelle had to use the ladies’. The woman is pathologically claustrophobic. I’ve tried numerous times to get her to seek help, but she’s a stubborn woman, John. A very stubborn woman.”
12:50
“Damn. Cell’s not picking up a signal. Ya know, John, I bet Clinton’s behind this. Of course, I have nothing to substantiate that. It’s just a feeling.”
“Well, the ‘Candidates’ Elevator’ WAS her idea… But, what’s her motive, Barak? As I see it, this is simply the finger of God pushing the ‘STOP’ button. Bringing two of his children together, as it were. Forcing a bond where once there was a continental divide,”
12:55
“Shut up, John. You sound like a doddering old man.”
1:30
“…568 bottles of beer on the wall, 568 bottles of beeeer….”
2:15
“My father never told me he loved me.”
“Well, I love you, Barak.”
3:00
“This one time, in prisoner camp…”
3:30
“Michelle makes me call her, Ma’am.”
“You poor bastard. Cindy is the best sex I have ever had in my life.”
“Me, too.”
4:28
“Ya know… I’m really not qualified for this position, John. Truth be told, I’m scared out of mind. Michelle made me run…”
“The walls! The walls are closing in! Oh my dear God, we’re gonna DIE!”
Whereupon, a weeping John McCain promptly pisses himself.
The elevator descends four feet and…
*DING*
…the doors open to a sea of media.
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Average ranking:6/10
User's comments: | Author | Comment |
rfreed | 2008-10-07 Really well done! |
nobody | 2008-10-07 Someone ALWAYS farts, sir. Amen. | 
Kilroy | 2008-10-07 ...oh, well, I guess they DID. Damn, and that was the only gag I had. |
Kilroy | 2008-10-07 What, no one farted? |
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