Obama and McCain Admit Past Indiscretions

Written by rfreed
Monday, 25 August 2008
Photo submitted by DaddyJ In the over-televised confessions of the year, both Obama and McCain admited openly their dark, secret, past indiscretions. The real shocker of it was that it was with each other. Yes, it seems that the two men once used a more Grecian form of governing with each other. A source, revealing himself only as "Deep Throat II" called the Washington Post asking for Woodward and Bernstein. When told that they no longer worked for the Post the caller then asked for any hack looking for some scandal fodder. When given the classified editor to talk to he revealed evidence showing that the the two politicos had a slightly more involved relationship than just filibustering. Backed into a corner by reporters, Obama came clean. "Back, when I was a fledgling in Washington, McCain took me under his wing." confessed Obama. "It was impressive to my young mind to have an older, strong, famous politician look out for me like a father. I loved him deeply. As time went on that went on deeply in other, unexpected ways." McCain, tormented at having been pressured by the Right to use smear tactics against his former compagnion, broke down at a press conference and cried "This is worse than Vietnamese torture! He was my boy toy, for God's sake!" The whole room was deathly hushed as the elder statesman sobbed miserably. "I can't say anything against that boy. He was like a son to me. And cute to boot!" Both parties have called emergency meetings to deal with this unexpected development so late in the presidential race. Religious leader condemned Pat Robertson Obama as a "God___ sodomite who should be stoned" but called McCain a "lost lamb who needs to be led home to the presidency". The gay vote, once totally on Obama's field of play, is now divided equally between the two candidates. European leaders are relieved, saying that finally American has leaders equal to their standards. Former president Clinton was overheard to snicker "Let's see what sort of Oval Office desk jokes they're going to tell now!" A late flash just in- The Democratic and Republican parties have found a solution to the dilema of suddenly having gay candidates on their hands. They have together voted to allow universal gay marriage and have the two wed and act as power sharing presidents. Let's all kiss and make up!