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Obama and McCain Admit Past Indiscretions |
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 Written by Eeek
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Tuesday, 26 August 2008 |
Obama confessed that one day, years ago when he was a student, eating at a restaurant with his friends, he did something he now regrets. He turned his glass of water into a glass of wine. A 1964 Château Lafitte, to be precise. He doesn't regret the wine itself – it was quite tasty, with a pleasing bouquet and a lingering aftertaste of frankincense and myrhh. What he regrets is that the restaurant had a corkage fee, and people who brought their own wine – or, presumably, materialized it as a miracle on the spot -- were supposed to pay $4.00. Obama forgot to pay. He deeply regrets it to this day, and if he could find the restaurant owner or his descendants, he would be glad to pay the $4.00 plus accrued interest.
McCain confessed that years ago, he murdered his parents and his baby sister, placed poison in the reservoir that supplied his city's water, created the AIDs virus using a chemistry set in his basement and unleashed it on the world, discovered the cure for cancer but didn't tell anyone, found the thermostat that controls the planet's temperature and turned it up 15 degrees, and invented the first television reality show. McCain also reminded us that we have no right to criticize him, because he was a prisoner of war, and we were not.
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