Due to its declining value, U. S. Treasury Department eliminites one-dollar bill.

Written by philbill
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
Photo submitted by From inside a used, bullet-proof Pope Mobile that is idling down Pennsylvania Avenue, U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulsen announced a major economic change today through blaring speakers. “First, I’d like to thank the Pope for use of the Pope Mobile,” he said, bullets pinging off the shell of the papal vehicle. “Due to the ongoing wars, both announced and clandestine, the $18 trillion dollar mortgage bailout, $48 dollar per gallon gas, and other temporary economic setbacks, we are saying good-bye to an old friend today…” (More shooting) (Then Paulsen says like an old school teacher) “OK, if you don’t want to hear what I have to say, we can just wait. It’s such a shame when some bad terrorists and marauding bandits have to ruin it for everyone…” (Shooting stops) “OK, as I was saying, we lose an old friend today – the one dollar bill. Due its uselessness in this time high inflation, we are allowing everyone to add a zero a day to the end of every bill they have - just use a Sharpie. Today the lowest denomination becomes the $10 bill. Tomorrow, the $100 bill and so forth. We know this will in no way keep up with the rate of inflation that has made a single chicken worth more than a trillion dollars, but President Bush…” (Gunshots again ping off the Pope Mobile) (Clears throat) “As I was saying …but President Bush reminds you none of this would have happened had the Democrat Party just made his tax cuts permanent.” (Rain of gunfire) Paulsen sticks his thumbs in his ears shaking the wildly and blows a raspberry as the Pope Mobile speeds off.)