Due to its declining value, U. S. Treasury Department eliminites one-dollar bill.

Written by Bluestocking1975
Tuesday, 05 August 2008
Photo submitted by Bush Bids “Buck Off” to Bill Dateline: October 17, 2008 Washington, D.C. (ACP)—In the last gasp of a dying presidency, the Bush administration today announced that it has directed the U.S. Treasury to begin phasing out the one-dollar bill, a form of currency steadily in use since it was introduced as a legal tender note during the presidency of Abraham Lincoln. In order to compete with the euro, yen, and other world currencies, as well as prepare for a future riddled with even more energy problems, Bush has declared human blood the new U.S. currency, to replace the one-dollar bill and eventually all U.S. paper and coin currency. The currency will be measured in increments of ounces and pints. Because of the Hindenburg-like decline of the U.S. economy, coupled with lofty inflation, the purchasing power of the dollar is virtually nil today. After all, who wants to buy a glass of milk? A butt-end slice of bread? A few drops of gasoline? “Not only will you be able to use this currency to pay at the gas pump, but grocery stores and other retailers across the nation will be provided with funding to refit and redesign their storefronts to accommodate this new, completely renewable and wholly natural resource-currency,” Bush spokeswoman Dana Perino enthused. Perino also noted that research and development is now underway to harness this new-found energy source, “the ultimate biofuel,” to run vehicles that are currently gas-powered or even hybrids. It is expected, she pointed out, that much of this resource will initially come from the blood-rich deserts of Iraq. “But, you never know,” she said. “If talks break down with North Korea or Iran . . . and there are all kinds of crises on the African continent. Their lands are just ripe for harvesting this precious bodily fluid as a natural resource.” So far, only the McCain campaign has come out in support of this R & D plan to exploit blood for energy. # # # Story filed by the Acerbic Press # # #