Recent research supports prevailing theories that at least one chemical in red wine, resveratrol, holds off aging on the cellular level.
In other science news, the theory that exposure to carbon nanotubes may cause lung cancer is bolstered by recent murine experimentation.
In the wake of these discoveries, the Bush Administration announced Friday that it will allot an additional $1.7 trillion to support scientific research in America. "I think we all knew in our guts that booze makes us healthy and technology kills babies," White House Press Secretary Dana Perino said in a press briefing. "This administration applauds the scientific community for finally listening to its gut instead of its brain."
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